I really believe in the value of connection. And for me, it often starts with something simple: just saying hi.
If I’ve met you and you mean something to me, I’ll probably send a message every now and then. A Slack DM, an iMessage, a sticker in a group chat. The message itself usually isn’t anything big — in fact, it’s deliberately small.
An emoji. A sticker. A quick “hope you have the best day.”
And you don’t even have to respond. It's small on purpose. It’s all on purpose.
How
In my to-do app (Todoist), I keep a recurring task to check in with people. Each task has their name, their preferred contact method (iMessage, WhatsApp, etc.), and lives in a project I simply call “People.”
When the check-in task pops up, I try to follow through. I’m usually pretty good about it. Sometimes I miss. Sometimes they pile up. That’s okay. I just do my best.
(P.S. Joey is amazing. If you're a designer, you should check out his company Baseline)
Why
There are several reasons why I do this — and why I do it the way I do.
Ultimately, it’s about staying connected.
In the modern age of “the online” and “the instant”, it’s surprisingly easy to feel disconnected. Distant. Isolated.
“Let’s keep in touch” has become the norm — and so has never following through. So I try to change that. Just a little. One hello at a time.
Stay connected
So I send pings. Little pulses. Breadcrumbs of care.
They’re not sent to be thanked. I’m not solving a problem. I’m not asking for anything. I’m simply saying, “Thought of you today.” And I’ve learned that even small moments like that help keep a connection alive.
Some people have told me they find replying hard — especially if it’s been a while. The longer it’s been, the heavier it feels. I don’t want to add to that weight. I don’t want to make people feel like they owe me a conversation.
So I just say hi. Genuinely. Lightly. Without obligation. The contact doesn’t come with a catch. It’s just a small gesture that makes room for connection — even in a world that rarely does.
Walls
Let’s be honest. On Slack or work chat apps, most messages come when someone needs something from you.
That’s fair. But it also builds walls. Every ping feels like an ask. Every DM feels like a request. Every message feels like more work.
Through simple check-ins, I’ve tried to quietly dismantle that. So when I do ask for something, the message doesn’t come with tension. There’s no armor to put on. The walls are lower. The transaction feels collaboration, not intrusive.
Less “ugh, another thing.” More “hey, what’s up?”
Support
Sometimes I say, “Hope you’re having a good day.”
And someone replies: “Actually… I’m not.”
When that happens, I stop what I’m doing. I talk to them. I ask if they want to hop on Zoom. I cancel meetings. I make time.
Doesn’t matter if we work on the same team or the same project. What matters is that someone was kind and vulnerable enough to share that they’re not okay — and maybe I can help.
My many (many) months of saying hi aren’t just to check a box in Todoist. They’re to create space. And on the rare day someone needs it — I’ll meet them there.
To everyone who’s ever trusted me enough to share… thank you. I hope I was there when you needed me.
Results
Because of this habit, I’ve stayed in touch with people for years
This isn’t networking. It’s not even relationship management. If I had to call it anything... I suppose it’s emotional architecture. It’s me building a "map of belonging".
I’ve learned about their lives — what’s bringing them joy, what’s been difficult. I’ve heard stories about marriages, yoga breakthroughs, kids Hulk-smashing piñatas at birthday parties.
There’s one person I’ve been messaging for… wow, six years now? We occasionally hop on Zoom just to catch up, say hi, talk about life.
Even when all they send back is a heart emoji, I feel grateful. Grateful that we’re still connected. Grateful for the relationships I’ve built — and kept alive — by simply saying hi.
Checking in
Last year, I came across a random Reddit post. It asked:
Who did you check in on today?
Who checked in on you?
That stuck with me.
It made me think about this system I’ve built — these rituals I’ve kept — not just to stay organized, but to stay human. To stay connected.
And it reminded me that connection doesn’t have to be grand. It can be light. Quiet. Uncomplicated.
Sometimes, it’s just saying hi.
Give it a shot. You might make someone’s day — without them even having to say a word.