Day two of running and blogging. Stepped outside this morning — really didn’t wanna do it.
The honeymoon phase of this experiment didn’t last long at all. I mean, I didn’t even want to do day one.
“You can’t do it.” That’s what my less enthusiastic, much more tired self is saying right now. Way less to say at the present moment. Just waking up, no coffee, mildly run-walking around my park. My nearby park. On a sunny but slightly windy morning.
Goodness, the wind.
When I was really into running before, I remember searching Reddit to see how others felt about wind. Because I hated it. And it turns out I wasn’t alone.
It’s not that the breeze itself felt bad. It’s that wind makes a hard thing even harder. Like you’re fighting against it.
On the flip side, when the wind was behind you, it felt incredible. Each step lighter. Easier.
But most of the time, it’s the opposite. Feels like you’re fighting this invisible force of nature that’s trying to hold you back. Giving you every excuse to head home. Kind of feeling that now, to be honest.
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Side note:
Heart rate: 159. Pace: 8:23 per kilometre.
Doing much better today. Still slow. Still don’t like this. But better than day one.
I blamed the coffee. Didn’t have any today. Didn’t have any this morning. Heart rate feels manageable. Lesson learned.
Back to the post.
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Hard things
Going through hard times now (relatively speaking) reminds me of hard times before.
The last time I tried to pick running back up, it wasn’t about speed. It wasn’t about fitness. It was about something else entirely.
At the time, I was working on a difficult project — highly ambiguous, highly ambitious, even more than the usual.
What got me lacing up some mornings wasn’t the hope of better times. It was the practice of doing hard things. Heading to the soccer field, running laps on the grass. Learning to sit with the challenges. The voices that scream how much something sucks, how hard it is, how much I want to quit.
To feel it. To express it. To get it out of the way in the morning, so I could approach the project clearer.
That was the theory anyway. And whether or not it worked, I don’t know. All I know is, we eventually broke through. Powered through. Shipped Webflow’s AI Site Builder.
Thinking back to that season — and all the other ones where I pushed through — reminds me today that I can do it again.
Doesn’t matter what my heart rate is now (166, by the way). Doesn’t matter what my pace is (8:29 per kilometre).
It doesn’t matter.
The wind is blowing in my face and sideways. But I’m still moving. I’m giving future me a reminder: I was able to do this annoying, uncomfortable thing this morning. And I finished it.
Hopefully not speaking too soon. 17 minutes in. 2 kilometres down. But I’ll keep going. I’ll finish — whether the wind wants me to or not.
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Side note:
How is this possible? Running around my park in a circle, but somehow the wind is always in my face.
It’s like plugging in a USB cable — neither side works, for some reason.
Nature is mysterious.
Back to the post.
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Hope
Even if I wish for the wind to help me, it doesn’t. Still pushing against me. Never behind me.
It’s one of those things you can hope for — but you can’t count on.
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Late last week I caught up with a coworker. Someone I mentor. They’re on a hard project. Starting to realize building something real is much more than just writing code.
Good code — scalable, reliable — matters, yes. But often it’s the easiest piece.
The hard part? Everything else. Working with people. Cross-functional teams. Stakeholders. Managing schedules, expectations, morale. (That last one’s quiet but huge.)
All of it is work. Work that has to be done. And if it’s not, it shows up later. In retro sessions. In venting. In patterns that repeat from project to project.
This project has given them perspective on the reality of building inside a software org. I’m proud of them — for the honesty, the introspection, the growth.
They said something that stuck:
“If only everyone knew exactly what they were doing at the start, things would go so much more smoothly.”
I smiled and said: You can wish for that. You can and you should. But it’s very unlikely to happen.
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Back to today. Third lap. Wind calmer — but still in my face.
At the start of every run, I wish: if only there wasn’t wind, this would be easier.
And I should wish for that. But it’s very unlikely to happen.
When it does, though, I don’t get to decide. I just have to adapt. Prepare. Power through.
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Side note: Rain, however, is a different story.
Tried it a couple times. Never again. No soaked clothes and squishy shoes will ever convince me to cosplay hardcore runner mode.
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Stats:
- Time: 30:13
- Pace: 7:40/km
- Distance: 3.66 km
Better than day one. Seriously, it was the coffee.
Now I’m wondering if I should even drink it after runs. Maybe tea. Maybe nothing. We’ll see.
But for now, let’s see if I can hit 4K. Regardless of what the wind’s doing.
