It’s often uncomfortable to hop on a call. These days, it’s not instinctual. It’s easier — and safer — to stay async.
But the truth?
Calls are often more efficient. You can hash something out in five minutes that would’ve taken five hours of back-and-forth.
And I get it. I prefer text too.
But I shove that discomfort aside every day — because I know that hopping on a five to thirty minute call with someone can save me hours later.
Not to mention, it helps build connection.
Sometimes, it even sparks something new.
Appointment
This just happened yesterday.
My partner and I were trying to reschedule my dentist appointment. We emailed. They emailed back — forgot to CC me. We emailed again. The thread dragged out over a few days. The time slots didn’t line up.
At one point, the front desk sent back an option — it technically worked, but neither of us replied.
The thread just… stalled.
So I called. Ten minutes. Done.
We figured it out in real-time. No looping. No missed CCs. No lag. Just… solved.
It wasn’t fun. It wasn’t comfortable. But it worked.
(Sidenote: In the age of AI and automation, isn’t it funny how hard we try to talk to a human? Smashing “0,” shouting “representative” while a polite robot lists our options. Just a little irony before we return to the post.)
Raw
That’s the strange part.
Even when I knew it would be faster to call, I still didn’t want to.
I never want to. Not to dental offices to rebook an appointment (Clearly). Not to restaurants to book a reservation. Not to insurance companies to resolve some random issue.
It’s not preferred. It’s not instinctual.
Because calling — actually talking to someone — feels intrusive. It breaks the polite, distant rhythm we’ve all gotten used to: text bubbles, read receipts, emoji reactions.
It’s not about the phone. Or the screen. Or the meeting link. It’s about exposure. In a call, you can’t perfect the timing, rehearse the tone, reread your message six times before pressing send. You don’t get to hide your humanity behind polish.
And for people who are used to being in control of how they present — a call feels like a collapse. Even if the task is a dental appointment. Even if the stakes are zero.
I’ve been on calls where I was clearly the only one comfortable. The other person was hesitant, nervous, unsure how to jump in. I’ve also been that person.
Text feels safe. Calls feel raw. Uncomfortable. But discomfort shouldn’t be a dealbreaker.
Sync
I’m not saying every meeting should be a call. Or that async isn’t valuable. It absolutely is. But async shouldn’t be your default just because it’s more comfortable.
Use the tool that gets the job done — not just the one that feels easiest in the moment. If a call is the fastest way forward, take it. Make it happen.
Discomfort is not a blocker. Delay is. That delay shows up in Slack threads that balloon to 50+ messages. Now no one really knows what’s happening. People start relying on AI to summarize the thread just to catch up — hoping it connects the dots that no one else could. Sometimes it helps. But often, it just highlights how disconnected the conversation has become.
That delay… that distance… it’s a slow, quiet decay of momentum.
There’s a clarity to real-time conversation that async can’t always replicate. Even if your thoughts are messy. Even if you speak in half-sentences. You don’t have to be good at calls to benefit from them. You just have to show up.
Some people think better in writing. I do too. Some don’t like being on camera. That’s fine. You don’t need video. You don’t even need to use your real voice. (These days, you can run your mic through a voice synthesizer and leave the camera off.)
But if you have the capacity to hop on a call, I highly recommend it.
Hop on Zoom. Talk to the person. Say the thing — even if you’re still figuring it out.
Because not knowing is still information. And sometimes, you’re both sitting there not knowing — quietly feeling bad about it, in isolation. But once it’s out there? Now it’s shared. Now it’s revealed. Now you can fumble and figure it out — together.
Live
I don’t think we’re avoiding the call. We’re avoiding the live-ness. Because real-time means no draft. No delay. No rewrite. No “undo” key. No overthinking. Just you, and them, and the moment.
But that’s the point. Live is where things move. Live is where things break open. Live is where things click.
Comfort and clarity don’t always overlap. Clarity doesn’t always arrive clean. Trust doesn’t always start composed. Progress doesn’t always come packaged.
Sometimes, the clearest, kindest, most efficient thing you can do… is pick up the phone.
Even when it’s weird. Especially when it’s weird. Because it’s not about having the perfect answer.
It’s about making the next move — together.